Question

8.1Radical Rewrite: Customer Lodges Passionate but Ineffectual...

8.1 Radical Rewrite: Customer Lodges Passionate but Ineffectual Complaint (L.O. 1-3) The following claim letter delivers a passionate but largely ineffectual complaint. Its insulting tone does little to persuade the receiver to meet the writer's demands. Can you administer a radical rewrite that might make the request more successful?

Your Task. Analyze and rewrite this poorly written claim letter.

Current date


Mr. Lance Lazarovich

Duplicating Systems 5409

Fondren Road Houston, TX 77807


Dear Ripoff Specialists:


Let me lay the facts on the line. Sadly, my company recently purchased four of your Color Laser Jet Pro TFP500 photocopiers, which seemed logical at the time. They promised out-of-the-box networked printing, 2-sided copies, fax, and color scanning. This was perfect for my growing engineering firm. Your sales lady Taylor Noack assured us that the TFP500 could handle our high volume of 3,000 copies a day. This sounded unlikely since the sales brochure suggested that the TFP500 was meant for 500 copies a day. Regardless, we listened to what Ms. Noack told us. Unfortunately, that was a big mistake. Our four TFP500 copiers are down every day, and my employees are screaming at me to do something. Because these machines are still under warranty, they do eventually get repaired. However, we can't deal with so much downtime.


After losing faith in your Ms. Noack, I called the district manager, Christopher Lopez. I suggested that we trade in our four TFP500 copiers (which cost $2,300 each) for two TFP1000 models (at $12,500 each). However, Mr. Lopez said he would have to charge 50 percent depreciation on our TFP500 copiers. That's a colossal rip-off! Any reasonable person would think that 20 percent depreciation is more sensible because we've had the machines only three months. Ms. Noack said she would get back to me, but I haven't heard from her since.


Now I'm forced to write to your headquarters because I have had no luck with either Ms. Noack or Mr. Lopez, and I need to see some action on these machines. If you understood anything about business, you would see what a sweet deal I'm offering. I'm willing to stick with your company and purchase your most expensive model—but I can't take such a steep loss on the TFP500 copiers. These copiers are relatively new; you should be able to sell them with no trouble. And think of all the money you will save by not having your repair technicians making constant trips to service our underpowered TFP500 copiers! Please respond immediately, or I may be forced to engage our attorney. Sincerely yours

Answer & Explanation
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July 17, 2021 (Current date)

 

Mr. Lance Lazarovich

Duplicating Systems 5409

Fondren Road Houston, TX 77807

 

To whom it may concern, 

 

Good day. My company recently purchased four of your Color Laser Jet Pro TFP500 photocopiers.  Your sales lady, Taylor Noack, assured us that the TFP500 could handle our high volume of 3,000 copies a day. It is a good investment for my growing business that is why we listen to Ms. Noack recommendation. After a few months, the four TFP500 copiers are shutting down. These machines are still under warranty and they do eventually get repaired. Unfortunately, we can't deal with so much downtime because of our pending operations. 

 

I tried to called the district manager, Mr. Christopher Lopez. I suggested that we trade in our four TFP500 copiers (which cost $2,300 each) for two TFP1000 models (at $12,500 each). However, Mr. Lopez said he would have to charge 50 percent depreciation on our TFP500 copiers. I believe it is unreasonable because we've had the machines for only three months.  Only 20 percent depreciation is more sensible because we just used the machine for a short period of time. Ms. Noack said she would get back to us, but I haven't heard from her since then.

 

Please contact us immediately with my number (Number) so that we can settle what deal should we do regarding these machines. If you failed to message us we will be forced to contact your headquarters and engage to our attorney. I hope you understand.

 

I would request you to look into the matter and make some actions. Thank you.

 

Sincerely yours, 

 

(Name of the Complainant)
 

Step-by-step explanation

Good day. I constructed my answer based on my own knowledge and understanding about the topic. I made it as simple but direct as possible. I hope this helps. Thank you.