Twelfth Night By William Shakespeare Act IV: Scene 2

MALVOLIO.
Ay, good fool.

CLOWN.
Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits?

MALVOLIO.
Fool, there was never man so notoriously abus'd; I am as well in
my wits, fool, as thou art.

CLOWN.
But as well? then you are mad indeed, if you be no better in your
wits than a fool.

MALVOLIO.
They have here propertied me; keep me in darkness, send ministers
to me, asses, and do all they can to face me out of my wits.

CLOWN.
Advise you what you say; the minister is here. Malvolio,
Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore! endeavour thyself to
sleep, and leave thy vain bibble babble.

MALVOLIO.
Sir Topas!

CLOWN.
Maintain no words with him, good fellow. Who, I, sir? not I, sir.
God be wi' you, good Sir Topas! Marry, amen. I will, sir, I
will.

MALVOLIO.
Fool, fool, fool, I say!

CLOWN.
Alas, sir, be patient. What say you, sir? I am shent for speaking
to you.

MALVOLIO.
Good fool, help me to some light and some paper. I tell thee, I
am as well in my wits as any man in Illyria.

CLOWN.
Well-a-day that you were, sir!

MALVOLIO.
By this hand, I am. Good fool, some ink, paper, and light; and
convey what I will set down to my lady. It shall advantage thee
more than ever the bearing of letter did.

CLOWN.
I will help you to 't. But tell me true, are you not mad indeed,
or do you but counterfeit?

MALVOLIO.
Believe me, I am not; I tell thee true.

CLOWN.
Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman till I see his brains. I will
fetch you light and paper and ink.

MALVOLIO.
Fool, I 'll requite it in the highest degree; I prithee, be gone.

CLOWN.
[Singing]
I am gone, sir,
And anon, sir,
I 'll be with you again,
In a trice,
Like to the old Vice,
Your need to sustain;
Who, with dagger of lath,
In his rage and his wrath,
Cries, ah, ha! to the devil:
Like a mad lad,
Pare thy nails, dad;
Adieu, goodman devil.

[Exit.]

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