Romeo and Juliet By William Shakespeare Act II: Scene 4

MERCUTIO.
Farewell, ancient lady; farewell, — 
[singing] lady, lady, lady.

[Exeunt Mercutio, and Benvolio.]

NURSE.
Marry, farewell! — I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was
this that was so full of his ropery?

ROMEO.
A gentleman, nurse, that loves to hear himself talk; and
will speak more in a minute than he will stand to in a month.

NURSE.
An 'a speak anything against me, I'll take him down, an'a
were lustier than he is, and twenty such Jacks; and if I cannot,
I'll find those that shall. Scurvy knave! I am none of his
flirt-gills; I am none of his skains-mates. — And thou must stand
by too, and suffer every knave to use me at his pleasure!

PETER. I saw no man use you at his pleasure; if I had, my weapon
should quickly have been out, I warrant you: I dare draw as soon
as another man, if I see occasion in a good quarrel, and the law
on my side.

NURSE.
Now, afore God, I am so vexed that every part about me
quivers. Scurvy knave! — Pray you, sir, a word: and, as I told
you, my young lady bid me enquire you out; what she bade me say I
will keep to myself: but first let me tell ye, if ye should lead
her into a fool's paradise, as they say, it were a very gross
kind of behaviour, as they say: for the gentlewoman is young;
and, therefore, if you should deal double with her, truly it were
an ill thing to be offered to any gentlewoman, and very weak
dealing.

ROMEO.
Nurse, commend me to thy lady and mistress. I protest unto
thee, —

NURSE.
Good heart, and i' faith I will tell her as much: Lord,
Lord, she will be a joyful woman.

ROMEO.
What wilt thou tell her, nurse? thou dost not mark me.

NURSE.
I will tell her, sir, — that you do protest: which, as I
take it, is a gentlemanlike offer.

ROMEO.
Bid her devise some means to come to shrift
This afternoon;
And there she shall at Friar Lawrence' cell
Be shriv'd and married. Here is for thy pains.

NURSE.
No, truly, sir; not a penny.

ROMEO.
Go to; I say you shall.

NURSE.
This afternoon, sir? well, she shall be there.

ROMEO.
And stay, good nurse, behind the abbey-wall:
Within this hour my man shall be with thee,
And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair;
Which to the high top-gallant of my joy
Must be my convoy in the secret night.
Farewell; be trusty, and I'll quit thy pains:
Farewell; commend me to thy mistress.

NURSE.
Now God in heaven bless thee! — Hark you, sir.

ROMEO.
What say'st thou, my dear nurse?

NURSE.
Is your man secret? Did you ne'er hear say,
Two may keep counsel, putting one away?

ROMEO.
I warrant thee, my man's as true as steel.

NURSE.
Well, sir; my mistress is the sweetest lady. — Lord, Lord!
when 'twas a little prating thing, — O, there's a nobleman in
town, one Paris, that would fain lay knife aboard; but she, good
soul, had as lief see a toad, a very toad, as see him. I anger
her sometimes, and tell her that Paris is the properer man; but
I'll warrant you, when I say so, she looks as pale as any clout
in the versal world. Doth not rosemary and Romeo begin both with
a letter?

ROMEO.
Ay, nurse; what of that? both with an R.

NURSE.
Ah, mocker! that's the dog's name. R is for the dog: no; I
know it begins with some other letter: — and she hath the
prettiest sententious of it, of you and rosemary, that it would
do you good to hear it.

ROMEO.
Commend me to thy lady.

NURSE.
Ay, a thousand times. [Exit Romeo.] — Peter!

PETER.
Anon?

NURSE.
Peter, take my fan, and go before.

[Exeunt.]

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