The Merry Wives of Windsor By William Shakespeare Act III: Scenes 1-2

ACT III. SCENE 2. A street in Windsor.

[Enter MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN.]

MRS. PAGE.
Nay, keep your way, little gallant: you were wont to be a follower,
but now you are a leader. Whether had you rather lead mine eyes,
or eye your master's heels?

ROBIN.
I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man than follow him
like a dwarf.

MRS. PAGE.
O! you are a flattering boy: now I see you'll be a courtier.

[Enter FORD.]

FORD.
Well met, Mistress Page. Whither go you?

MRS. PAGE.
Truly, sir, to see your wife. Is she at home?

FORD.
Ay; and as idle as she may hang together, for want of company.
I think, if your husbands were dead, you two would marry.

MRS. PAGE.
Be sure of that — two other husbands.

FORD.
Where had you this pretty weathercock?

MRS. PAGE.
I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my husband had him of.
What do you call your knight's name, sirrah?

ROBIN.
Sir John Falstaff.

FORD.
Sir John Falstaff!

MRS. PAGE.
He, he; I can never hit on's name. There is such a league between
my good man and he! Is your wife at home indeed?

FORD.
Indeed she is.

MRS. PAGE.
By your leave, sir: I am sick till I see her.

[Exeunt MRS. PAGE and ROBIN.]

FORD.
Has Page any brains? Hath he any eyes? Hath he any thinking? Sure,
they sleep; he hath no use of them. Why, this boy will carry a
letter twenty mile as easy as a cannon will shoot point-blank
twelve score. He pieces out his wife's inclination; he gives
her folly motion and advantage; and now she's going to my wife,
and Falstaff's boy with her. A man may hear this shower sing in
the wind: and Falstaff's boy with her! Good plots! They are laid;
and our revolted wives share damnation together. Well; I will take
him, then torture my wife, pluck the borrowed veil of modesty from
the so seeming Mistress Page, divulge Page himself for a secure
and wilful Actaeon; and to these violent proceedings all my
neighbours shall cry aim. [Clock strikes] The clock gives me my
cue, and my assurance bids me search; there I shall find Falstaff.
I shall be rather praised for this than mocked; for it is as
positive as the earth is firm that Falstaff is there. I will go.

[Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, SLENDER, HOST, SIR HUGH EVANS,
CAIUS, and RUGBY.]

SHALLOW, PAGE, &c.
Well met, Master Ford.

FORD.
Trust me, a good knot; I have good cheer at home, and I pray you
all go with me.

SHALLOW.
I must excuse myself, Master Ford.

SLENDER.
And so must I, sir; we have appointed to dine with Mistress Anne,
and I would not break with her for more money than I'll speak of.

SHALLOW.
We have lingered about a match between Anne Page and my cousin
Slender, and this day we shall have our answer.

SLENDER.
I hope I have your good will, father Page.

PAGE.
You have, Master Slender; I stand wholly for you. But my wife,
Master doctor, is for you altogether.

CAIUS.
Ay, be-gar; and de maid is love-a me: my nursh-a Quickly tell me
so mush.

HOST.
What say you to young Master Fenton? He capers, he dances, he has
eyes of youth, he writes verses, he speaks holiday, he smells April
and May; he will carry 't, he will carry 't; 'tis in his buttons;
he will carry 't.

PAGE.
Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman is of no having:
he kept company with the wild Prince and Pointz; he is of too high
a region, he knows too much. No, he shall not knit a knot in his
fortunes with the finger of my substance; if he take her, let him
take her simply; the wealth I have waits on my consent, and my
consent goes not that way.

FORD.
I beseech you, heartily, some of you go home with me to dinner:
besides your cheer, you shall have sport; I will show you a monster.
Master Doctor, you shall go; so shall you, Master Page; and you,
Sir Hugh.

SHALLOW.
Well, fare you well; we shall have the freer wooing at Master Page's.

[Exeunt SHALLOW and SLENDER.]

CAIUS.
Go home, John Rugby; I come anon.

[Exit RUGBY.]

HOST.
Farewell, my hearts; I will to my honest knight Falstaff, and drink
canary with him.

[Exit HOST.]

FORD.
[Aside] I think I shall drink in pipe-wine first with him. I'll
make him dance. Will you go, gentles?

ALL.
Have with you to see this monster.

[Exeunt.]

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