ACT V. SCENE IV. Another part of the Forest.
[Enter DUKE Senior, AMIENS, JAQUES, ORLANDO, OLIVER, and CELIA.]
Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy
Can do all this that he hath promised?
I sometimes do believe and sometimes do not:
As those that fear they hope, and know they fear.
[Enter ROSALIND, SILVIUS, and PHEBE.]
Patience once more, whiles our compact is urg'd: —
[To the Duke.]
You say, if I bring in your Rosalind,
You will bestow her on Orlando here?
That would I, had I kingdoms to give with her.
[To Orlando.] And you say you will have her when I bring her?
That would I, were I of all kingdoms king.
[To Phebe.] You say you'll marry me, if I be willing?
That will I, should I die the hour after.
But if you do refuse to marry me,
You'll give yourself to this most faithful shepherd?
So is the bargain.
[To Silvius.] You say that you'll have Phebe, if she will?
Though to have her and death were both one thing.
I have promis'd to make all this matter even.
Keep you your word, O duke, to give your daughter; —
You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter; —
Keep your word, Phebe, that you'll marry me;
Or else, refusing me, to wed this shepherd: —
Keep your word, Silvius, that you'll marry her
If she refuse me: — and from hence I go,
To make these doubts all even.
[Exeunt ROSALIND and CELIA.]
I do remember in this shepherd-boy
Some lively touches of my daughter's favour.
My lord, the first time that I ever saw him
Methought he was a brother to your daughter:
But, my good lord, this boy is forest-born,
And hath been tutor'd in the rudiments
Of many desperate studies by his uncle,
Whom he reports to be a great magician,
Obscured in the circle of this forest.
There is, sure, another flood toward, and these couples are
coming to the ark. Here comes a pair of very strange beasts
which in all tongues are called fools.
[Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY.]
Salutation and greeting to you all!
Good my lord, bid him welcome. This is the motley-minded
gentleman that I have so often met in the forest: he hath
been a courtier, he swears.
If any man doubt that, let him put me to my purgation.
I have trod a measure; I have flattered a lady; I have been
politic with my friend, smooth with mine enemy; I have undone
three tailors; I have had four quarrels, and like to have fought
And how was that ta'en up?
Faith, we met, and found the quarrel was upon the seventh cause.
How seventh cause? Good my lord, like this fellow.
I like him very well.
God 'ild you, sir; I desire you of the like. I press in
here, sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives, to swear
and to forswear; according as marriage binds and blood breaks: — A
poor virgin, sir, an ill-favoured thing, sir, but mine own; a
poor humour of mine, sir, to take that that no man else will;
rich honesty dwells like a miser, sir, in a poor-house; as your
pearl in your foul oyster.
By my faith, he is very swift and sententious.
According to the fool's bolt, sir, and such dulcet diseases.
But, for the seventh cause; how did you find the quarrel on
the seventh cause?
Upon a lie seven times removed; — bear your body more
seeming, Audrey: — as thus, sir, I did dislike the cut of a
certain courtier's beard; he sent me word, if I said his beard
was not cut well, he was in the mind it was: this is called the
Retort courteous. If I sent him word again it was not well cut,
he would send me word he cut it to please himself: this is called
the Quip modest. If again, it was not well cut, he disabled my
judgment: this is called the Reply churlish. If again, it was not
well cut, he would answer I spake not true: this is called the
Reproof valiant. If again, it was not well cut, he would say I
lie: this is called the Countercheck quarrelsome: and so, to the
Lie circumstantial, and the Lie direct.