All's Well That Ends Well By William Shakespeare Act IV: Scene 3

BERTRAM.
But I con him no thanks for't in the nature he delivers it.

PAROLLES.
Poor rogues, I pray you say.

FIRST SOLDIER.
Well, that's set down.

PAROLLES.
I humbly thank you, sir: a truth's a truth, the rogues are
marvellous poor.

FIRST SOLDIER.
'Demand of him of what strength they are a-foot.' What say you to
that?

PAROLLES.
By my troth, sir, if I were to live this present hour, I will
tell true. Let me see: Spurio, a hundred and fifty, Sebastian, so
many; Corambus, so many; Jaques, so many; Guiltian, Cosmo,
Lodowick, and Gratii, two hundred fifty each; mine own company,
Chitopher, Vaumond, Bentii, two hundred fifty each: so that the
muster-file, rotten and sound, upon my life, amounts not to
fifteen thousand poll; half of the which dare not shake the snow
from off their cassocks lest they shake themselves to pieces.

BERTRAM.
What shall be done to him?

FIRST LORD.
Nothing, but let him have thanks. Demand of him my condition, and
what credit I have with the duke.

FIRST SOLDIER.
Well, that's set down. 'You shall demand of him whether one
Captain Dumain be i' the camp, a Frenchman; what his reputation
is with the duke, what his valour, honesty, expertness in wars;
or whether he thinks it were not possible, with well-weighing
sums of gold, to corrupt him to a revolt.'
What say you to this? what do you know of it?

PAROLLES.
I beseech you, let me answer to the particular of the
inter'gatories: demand them singly.

FIRST SOLDIER.
Do you know this Captain Dumain?

PAROLLES.
I know him: he was a botcher's 'prentice in Paris, from whence he
was whipped for getting the shrieve's fool with child: a dumb
innocent that could not say him nay.

[FIRST LORD lifts up his hand in anger.]

BERTRAM.
Nay, by your leave, hold your hands; though I know his brains are
forfeit to the next tile that falls.

FIRST SOLDIER.
Well, is this captain in the Duke of Florence's camp?

PAROLLES.
Upon my knowledge, he is, and lousy.

FIRST LORD.
Nay, look not so upon me; we shall hear of your lordship anon.

FIRST SOLDIER.
What is his reputation with the duke?

PAROLLES.
The duke knows him for no other but a poor officer of mine; and
writ to me this other day to turn him out o' the band: I think I
have his letter in my pocket.

FIRST SOLDIER.
Marry, we'll search.

PAROLLES.
In good sadness, I do not know; either it is there or it is upon
a file, with the duke's other letters, in my tent.

FIRST SOLDIER.
Here 'tis; here's a paper. Shall I read it to you?

PAROLLES.
I do not know if it be it or no.

BERTRAM.
Our interpreter does it well.

FIRST LORD.
Excellently.

FIRST SOLDIER.
[Reads.] 'Dian, the Count's a fool, and full of gold, — '

PAROLLES.
That is not the duke's letter, sir; that is an advertisement to a
proper maid in Florence, one Diana, to take heed of the
allurement of one Count Rousillon, a foolish idle boy, but for
all that very ruttish: I pray you, sir, put it up again.

FIRST SOLDIER.
Nay, I'll read it first by your favour.

PAROLLES.
My meaning in't, I protest, was very honest in the behalf of the
maid; for I knew the young count to be a dangerous and lascivious
boy, who is a whale to virginity, and devours up all the fry it
finds.

BERTRAM.
Damnable! both sides rogue!

FIRST SOLDIER.
[Reads.]
'When he swears oaths, bid him drop gold, and take it:
After he scores, he never pays the score;
Half won is match well made; match, and well make it;
He ne'er pays after-debts, take it before;
And say a soldier, 'Dian,' told thee this:
Men are to mell with, boys are not to kiss;
For count of this, the count's a fool, I know it,
Who pays before, but not when he does owe it.
Thine, as he vow'd to thee in thine ear,
PAROLLES.

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