The Merry Wives of Windsor By William Shakespeare Act III: Scenes 1-2

SHALLOW.
So do you, good Master Doctor.

HOST.
Disarm them, and let them question; let them keep their limbs whole
and hack our English.

CAIUS.
I pray you, let-a me speak a word with your ear: verefore will you
not meet-a me?

EVANS.
[Aside to CAIUS.] Pray you use your patience; in good time.

CAIUS.
By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape.

EVANS.
[Aside to CAIUS.] Pray you, let us not be laughing-stogs to other
men's humours; I desire you in friendship, and I will one way or
other make you amends.
[Aloud.] I will knog your urinals about your knave's cogscomb
for missing your meetings and appointments.

CAIUS.
Diable! — Jack Rugby, — mine Host de Jarretiere, — have I not stay for
him to kill him? Have I not, at de place I did appoint?

EVANS.
As I am a Christians soul, now, look you, this is the place
appointed. I'll be judgment by mine host of the Garter.

HOST.
Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaullia; French and Welsh, soul-curer
and body-curer!

CAIUS.
Ay, dat is very good; excellent!

HOST.
Peace, I say! Hear mine host of the Garter. Am I politic? am I
subtle? am I a Machiavel? Shall I lose my doctor? No; he gives me
the potions and the motions. Shall I lose my parson, my priest,
my Sir Hugh? No; he gives me the proverbs and the no-verbs.
Give me thy hand, terrestrial; so; — give me thy hand, celestial;
so. Boys of art, I have deceived you both; I have directed you
to wrong places; your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole,
and let burnt sack be the issue. Come, lay their swords to pawn.
Follow me, lads of peace; follow, follow, follow.

SHALLOW.
Trust me, a mad host! — Follow, gentlemen, follow.

SLENDER.
[Aside] O, sweet Anne Page!

[Exeunt SHALLOW, SLENDER, PAGE, and HOST.]

CAIUS.
Ha, do I perceive dat? Have you make-a de sot of us, ha, ha?

EVANS.
This is well; he has made us his vlouting-stog. I desire you that
we may be friends; and let us knog our prains together to be
revenge on this same scall, scurvy, cogging companion, the host
of the Garter.

CAIUS.
By gar, with all my heart. He promise to bring me where is Anne
Page; by gar, he deceive me too.

EVANS.
Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you follow.

[Exeunt.]

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