It's as inescapable as the common cold. Sometime in your life, you're bound to suffer a broken heart. Just as surely, the ache brought on by disappointment in love will feel harsher than a minor twinge. The pain may be intense - and you may think you'll be in the same sorry state for the rest of your days. Take heart: With time — and effort — you'll move on. Here are a few tips to nudge you in the right direction.
Know that you have experienced a loss, a death of sorts. Something that once was, is no longer. With loss comes grieving, and you'll probably find yourself riding out waves of emotion. You're likely to replay the same scenes over and over in your head: you with her in happier times; you without her after the breakup. That's normal — for a while.
Instead of getting stuck in a loop of reruns, put your nagging thoughts down on paper. Purge your mind in a written record that includes anything that keeps claiming your attention: the he said/she said; the way you felt then and now; the reasons why you thought it would end differently; the words you'd like to say, if you had a chance. Draw pictures, if you want. This is your story of hurt. Let it out.
Give yourself permission to have a good cry. Get mad and punch your pillow. You can do either or both alone or in the company of a close friend. Do neither in public. Being sad enough to sob is understandable; crying buckets around a crowd, whether you know them or not, is unacceptable. They may be miserable with you, but you won't feel any better spreading the anguish.
Get physical. (Okay, put away thoughts of inflicting pain on your ex.) Walk, run, jump, skip, dance: Do something that requires your body to move and your broken heart to get pumping. You may think you look silly, but you'll feel much better being in motion than sitting and fretting.
Pick a favorite pastime to distract your attention away from the stings of your memories. A busy brain can't keep a stranglehold on one subject. By keeping occupied with something you enjoy, you'll give yourself a break from the negativity associated with your lost love.
Start making plans. When you begin looking forward, you'll find that you have all sorts of opportunities - to enjoy hobbies, friends, family, interests, and activities that you may have put on the back burner to focus on your relationship with him or her. While you're wondering whether you'll ever feel happy again, put yourself in situations with positive people who remind you of reasons to smile. Along the way, you'll figure out that you're going to be okay. The future's brighter because of what you've learned from the growing pains of experience.
