The author compares the different behavior in love of his father and his uncle. Toby was the opposite of Walter: he "took it like a lamb — sat still and let the poison work in his veins without resistance." Actually, he mistook it at first; riding his horse on an errand, he got a blister on his bottom, and when the pain remained after the blister had broken, he was convinced "that his wound was not a skin-deep-wound — but that it had gone to his heart."
He announces to Trim, "I am in love, corporal!" and considers the ways of letting the object of his passion know about it. "As we are neighbours, Trim, — the best way I think is to let her know it civilly first." As they discuss various maneuvers, Mrs. Wadman and Bridget are holding a council on the same subject. There is something that worries the widow: "I am terribly afraid, . . . in case I should marry him, Bridget — that the poor captain will not enjoy his health, with the monstrous wound upon his groin." Bridget reassures her that the wound is healed, and since she assumes that Corporal Trim will be courting her while his master is courting her mistress, she promises to find out all from him. "I could like to know — merely for his sake, said Mrs. Wadman."
Toby and Trim discuss the proper uniform, Trim advising against the "red plush ones" because "they will be too clumsy." When Toby instructs Trim to polish up his sword, Trim dissuades him from wearing it: "'Twill be only in your honour's way." Careful plans are made: "We'll march up boldly; . . . and whilst your honour engages Mrs. Wadman in the parlour, to the right — I'll attack Mrs. Bridget in the kitchen, to the left." Toby agrees with the plan, "but I declare, corporal I had rather march up to the very edge of a trench-."
