Dr. Slop, "like a son of a w — , as my father called him," spreads a rumor that the accident with the window had disastrous results, "that poor Master Shandy * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * entirely"; and even worse than that, "that the nursery window had not only * * * * * . . .; — but that * * * * * . . . also." Walter is furious, and Toby recommends putting the child on display "at the market cross."
Walter decides to dress the child in breeches (tight pants), but he reached this decision only after prolonged discussion with Mrs. Shandy in what he calls his "beds of justice."
The "beds of justice" were Walter's equivalent of a "wise custom" of the "ancient Goths of Germany," that "of debating every thing of importance to their state, twice . . . once drunk, and once sober." Walter, who was "entirely a water-drinker," finally found a way to approximate that "wise custom": "he fixed and set apart the first Sunday night in the month, and the Saturday night which immediately preceded it, to argue it over, in bed with my mother." (The reader will remember that the novel begins on the first Sunday night of a month — March 1718.)
