Aristotle spoke of real tragedy as being a state where you feel no pain, no joy, and no hatred, just enormous space and time suspended. There is a sense of this when Chamberlain thinks of what the actual battle was like. He had completely forgotten about causes or morality once the guns started firing. The reflections and feelings come later.
As Chamberlain reflects on the charge that day he decides it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen: officers yelling, the music, the drums, shell bursts, a mile of men coming slowly, dying as they came, knowing they were coming to kill you, flags waving. He observes that even with his own fear there is the sensation of unspeakable beauty. These seem like odd comments, especially when speaking of warfare. But it catches the beliefs of the time. War and courageous men were romantic, and lines of men coming at you created strong emotions.
Chamberlain thinks about the appalling thrill he feels at knowing there are more battles to come. He realizes he will fight until he dies or the war ends, and he feels an incredible eagerness for the next battle. Again, these might seem like strange emotions. But it is in the war, in the army, that Chamberlain feels most alive. Perhaps it is that ability of pain and fear to create such an intense focus that draws Chamberlain to the field of battle and makes him feel so alive. There is also the sense of history he feels a part of. Chamberlain decides he must come back to this place after the war is over to try to understand it all. The only thing he is sure of now is that he has had a privilege most men will never have. These memories will stay with him to the end of his days.
