It is only after her mother's death that Jing-mei begins to realize what her mother had wanted for her. She looks back over the music that she formerly shunned and discovers something that she hadn't noticed before. The song on the left-hand side of the page is called "Pleading Child"; the one on the right, "Perfectly Contented." Suddenly, Jing-mei realizes that the two titles are two halves of the same song. This realization brings together the theme of the tension between mothers and daughters. The mothers and daughters in this book are separated by many factors — age, experience, ambition, and culture. The "pleading child" cannot be "perfectly contented" because she cannot resolve her difficulties with her mother — and herself. In her struggle with her mother, she is struggling with her own identity. Who is Jing-mei? Chinese? American? Some combination of the two? She feels that she must reject her mother in order to find herself. Yet in doing so, she is rejecting her heritage and her identity. This book explores the various ways that mothers and daughters relate to each other as the daughters are struggling to forge their own place in the world.
As such, the theme of this story easily transcends the immigrant experience. Children from many cultures and backgrounds steadfastly refuse to believe in their parents' dreams for their future. Whether their parents are on-track or misguided, many children cannot see the value of applying themselves to a goal, practicing a skill, and cooperating with others' plans. In her refusal to accede to her mother's wishes, Jing-mei becomes cruel. She strikes back at her mother with the strongest weapon she can muster — verbally reminding her mother of the central tragedy of her life. And Jing-mei wins the argument — or does she?
Tan also explores the effect of popular culture on the immigrant. Mrs. Woo gets her ideas from television and popular magazines. She does not question the validity of these sources. The magazines range from the bizarre — Ripley's Believe It or Not — to the commonplace — Good Housekeeping and Reader's Digest. Everything has been predigested for mass consumption.
