Alfred’s hold on his new life is tenuous. He wavers between hope and despair. In this chapter, we see a young man at a crossroads in life, and he is struggling to determine which path to take. One continuing problem for Alfred is that he can be excessively influenced by those around him. (This will be a more serious problem for Alfred later.) He is just beginning to be his own man, another theme of the novel. Lipsyte demonstrates Alfred’s vulnerability in three very different settings in this chapter.
Alfred’s first challenge is in the park. He is trying a new regimen, and at first everything goes well. He is up at 5:30 a.m. and soon on the run. Sweet air fills his lungs. Although he is just beginning to get in shape, and a sharp pain runs through his side, Alfred is filled with joy. A silly smile crosses his face. He is a healthy young man who feels the gratification of accomplishing something. Still, this sense of self-worth is so fragile that it can be (and is) destroyed by a single exchange with the two policemen. Even though they quickly believe Alfred and laughingly wish him well, Alfred’s run is ruined. The spring leaves his step. The stitch in his side is now unbearable. He notices gas fumes from cars. Soon he quits and goes home.
At the apartment, even Aunt Pearl questions his odd behavior. She asks if he has been out all night. In her loving way, she expresses her concern for Alfred’s safety. As he often does, Alfred evades the truth. Instead of providing a candid response, he says he was out for a walk. He is not yet able to be a man and take responsibility for his choices, even when they are admirable. Alfred is still afraid to be himself.
At work, Alfred’s day gets even worse. The Epsteins say they have faith in him, but their actions say otherwise. For Alfred’s own sake, Lou Epstein says, it may be better not to present Alfred with too much temptation. Alfred is crushed when he sees that this means he will no longer be trusted with the bank deposit. James also rejects him, turning away from Alfred when he sees James standing outside of the grocery; James walks away like Major. Alfred feels like giving up and notices a way to disengage the new alarm system. Maybe he could regain James’ friendship if the two of them robbed the store.
Alfred’s problem is that he has not yet learned to believe in himself. If he did, it would matter less what others think. Alfred wants to escape to the safe, dark dream world of the movie theater. However, Henry’s grinning intervention reminds him of the scheduled gym workout. Through it all, Alfred salvages enough hope to give the new life another try.
