She also gives us glimpses of her future; we hear, for instance that "last week I cut the plastic starfish off the sunglasses case for the baby to play with." (The case was one of the free gifts that Esther "won" with her job.) So we realize, even in Chapter 1, that Esther, the bright, clever, all-American successful girl, so immersed in death and despair, does survive her college years to go on to a life that includes a baby.
The task given to the reader is to try to figure out why Esther is so filled with conflict, so alienated. She herself says, "I was supposed to be having the time of my life." So why is she so miserable with her success? Why does she feel the need to invent another name for herself, "Elly Higginbottom"? Why does she try to be pals with Doreen? (Doreen is a glamor girl much like the wealthy Katy Gibbs girls who live at the Amazon hotel where Esther is staying.) Why does Esther avoid her magazine work if she really does like her boss, Jay Cee? Does Esther really want to be a writer? What does Esther want from life? How does she really feel about herself and her world? Does she perceive reality correctly? What kind of change is she going through?
The reader should pay close attention to the images that Esther gives us of New York; they clearly reveal that something is wrong. When Doreen and Esther find themselves in a cab in a traffic jam, they allow themselves to be picked up by a man (Lenny) in a blue lumber shirt and his short runty friend; we feel sure that other things are probably going to go wrong too. At Lenny's place, Esther starts to feel increasingly withdrawn and unattractive. Sexy Doreen is having a great time, so Esther leaves by half-sliding down a banister, and then she decides to walk back to the Amazon Hotel by following her street map. In her room, she is depressed by the silence and her bedside telephone that does not ring. She takes a long "dissolving" bath and goes to bed. When the night maid helps the drunk Doreen to her door, Esther decides that it's best to leave her on the carpet. Doreen vomits, and Esther vows to be loyal to "Betsy and her innocent friends." In the morning Doreen is gone, and the hall is empty.
