Joan Durbeyfield is the instigator of the plan to send her eldest daughter to another family. Joan takes advantage of Tess, because she is Tess' mother, and of her husband, John, because he is easily manipulated, a drunk and a fool. Joan, like a hopeless romantic, intends for Tess to be married into the d'Urberville clan. She shows her blissful ignorance when she hatches the plan to send Tess away: "[W]e must take the ups wi' the downs, Tess, and never could your high blood have been found out at a more called-for moment." Tess, however, wants no part of Joan Durbeyfield's plan saying, "I'd rather try to get work." However, she is convinced by Joan and by her guilt for the death of the family horse, Prince. After being talked into the proposition, Tess remarks, "Well, as I killed the horse, mother. I suppose I ought to do something." Thus Tess' fate is sealed.
What Tess and her family do not know is that the Stoke-d'Urbervilles are not relatives at all. Simon Stoke had made a small fortune as a merchant in North England and assumed the name d'Urberville and attached it to his own as a way to demonstrate his close relationship to the people of South England and to give the impression of an old, established aristocratic family. Eventually, the name Stoke was dropped, leaving only the name d'Urberville. Tess and her family never learn this fact, partially because they are rather uneducated and partially because they rely on what others tell them of their family history and do not research this history for themselves.
In Chapter 6, when Tess is nearing the end of a successful trip to the d'Urbervilles, Hardy notes, "Thus the thing began." It should be noted that Hardy gives subtle hints that a "play" has commenced. This technique dates back to the ancient Greek period when plays (or dramas) were written about the sport that the Greek gods took with mortal men. Sometimes it was said that the Greek gods enjoyed using mankind as toys or for sport. Hardy knows this and uses this device as a springboard for his own work, making Tess an unwitting — and unwilling — participant.
