MERCUTIO.
Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting; it is a most sharp
sauce.
ROMEO.
And is it not, then, well served in to a sweet goose?
MERCUTIO.
O, here's a wit of cheveril, that stretches from an inch
narrow to an ell broad!
ROMEO.
I stretch it out for that word broad: which added to the
goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.
MERCUTIO.
Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? now art
thou sociable, now art thou Romeo; not art thou what thou art, by
art as well as by nature: for this drivelling love is like a
great natural, that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble
in a hole.
BENVOLIO.
Stop there, stop there.
MERCUTIO.
Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against the hair.
BENVOLIO.
Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.
MERCUTIO.
O, thou art deceived; I would have made it short: for I was
come to the whole depth of my tale; and meant indeed to occupy
the argument no longer.
ROMEO.
Here's goodly gear!
[Enter Nurse and Peter.]
MERCUTIO.
A sail, a sail, a sail!
BENVOLIO.
Two, two; a shirt and a smock.
NURSE.
Peter!
PETER.
Anon.
NURSE.
My fan, Peter.
MERCUTIO.
Good Peter, to hide her face; for her fan's the fairer face.
NURSE.
God ye good morrow, gentlemen.
MERCUTIO.
God ye good-den, fair gentlewoman.
NURSE.
Is it good-den?
MERCUTIO.
'Tis no less, I tell ye; for the bawdy hand of the dial is
now upon the prick of noon.
NURSE.
Out upon you! what a man are you!
ROMEO.
One, gentlewoman, that God hath made for himself to mar.
NURSE.
By my troth, it is well said; — for himself to mar, quoth
'a? — Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I may find the young
Romeo?
ROMEO.
I can tell you: but young Romeo will be older when you have
found him than he was when you sought him: I am the youngest of
that name, for fault of a worse.
NURSE.
You say well.
MERCUTIO.
Yea, is the worst well? very well took, i' faith; wisely,
wisely.
NURSE.
If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with you.
BENVOLIO.
She will indite him to some supper.
MERCUTIO.
A bawd, a bawd, a bawd! So ho!
ROMEO.
What hast thou found?
MERCUTIO.
No hare, sir; unless a hare, sir, in a lenten pie, that is
something stale and hoar ere it be spent.
[Sings.]
An old hare hoar,
And an old hare hoar,
Is very good meat in Lent;
But a hare that is hoar
Is too much for a score
When it hoars ere it be spent.
Romeo, will you come to your father's? we'll to dinner thither.
ROMEO.
I will follow you.
MERCUTIO.
Farewell, ancient lady; farewell, —
[singing] lady, lady, lady.
[Exeunt Mercutio, and Benvolio.]
NURSE.
Marry, farewell! — I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was
this that was so full of his ropery?
ROMEO.
A gentleman, nurse, that loves to hear himself talk; and
will speak more in a minute than he will stand to in a month.
NURSE.
An 'a speak anything against me, I'll take him down, an'a
were lustier than he is, and twenty such Jacks; and if I cannot,
I'll find those that shall. Scurvy knave! I am none of his
flirt-gills; I am none of his skains-mates. — And thou must stand
by too, and suffer every knave to use me at his pleasure!
PETER. I saw no man use you at his pleasure; if I had, my weapon
should quickly have been out, I warrant you: I dare draw as soon
as another man, if I see occasion in a good quarrel, and the law
on my side.
NURSE.
Now, afore God, I am so vexed that every part about me
quivers. Scurvy knave! — Pray you, sir, a word: and, as I told
you, my young lady bid me enquire you out; what she bade me say I
will keep to myself: but first let me tell ye, if ye should lead
her into a fool's paradise, as they say, it were a very gross
kind of behaviour, as they say: for the gentlewoman is young;
and, therefore, if you should deal double with her, truly it were
an ill thing to be offered to any gentlewoman, and very weak
dealing.
