Many of us are attracted to a rebel personality, especially when we are young — and especially, we can imagine, if we had been reared, as Clarissa was, in a cloistered, Victorian atmosphere. We are told that flowers at Bourton (Clarissa's family home) were arranged in "stiff little vases all the way down the table." This is an appropriate image for Clarissa's life — because it was, until Sally appeared, made up of stiff, indistinguishable days arranged along the length of the years. Then Sally sparked Clarissa's spirit. Clarissa felt that she and Sally could "communicate."
At first, communication may seem a rather tame prize for Clarissa to value so highly, but even today our popular magazines are continually concerned with the matter of communication between people. Can men and women truly communicate? Is the male sensibility different from the female sensibility? D. H. Lawrence, a contemporary of Virginia Woolf, believed that men and women were two entirely different species. Historically, the mind of a woman has always been relegated to second place whenever a man is concerned. This was especially true when Mrs. Dalloway was a girl. In those years, whom could a girl open her heart to? A sensitive, imaginative, timid girl like Clarissa? Men were superior. If one were a woman, could she tell her husband everything she thought? If so, how would he receive it? as the confession of a silly chatterbox? or in a spirit of trust? This problem was one which frustrated Virginia Woolf. She was a published critic and author. She had many male friends, but she was prone to distrust their friendships. She wondered if she were being patronized when she talked of literature and politics. Did her male friends think of her as only a clever curiosity? Did they really "share" themselves with her as her women friends did? Was there an even exchange?
This concept of "sharing" — of giving and taking — is central to Mrs. Dalloway. Clarissa rejected Peter because he wanted to share himself and wanted an equal return. Clarissa feared open, total involvement with a man. The concept was foreign and frightening; to her, sharing meant surrender. Marriage to Peter would have been a dangerous, immoral one-sided contract. Compare, however, the give-and-take aspect of Clarissa's memory of Sally Seton. Clarissa gave her "soul" absolutely and exclusively to Sally. Sally gave her "soul" to Clarissa — but she offered, freely, just as much of herself to everyone else. When Sally kissed Clarissa, she gave the kiss impulsively. Clarissa, however, did not accept the kiss as an impulsive gesture. Clarissa accepted Sally's kiss as a treasure; she accepted it as though a ceremony had been performed and a gift had been bestowed. Nevertheless, Clarissa does not seem to see anything unjust or wrong in this disproportionate exchange.
