Gulliver tells us that the political scientists he visits are quite insane. They have proposed that administrators be chosen for their wisdom, talent, and skill; that ability and virtue be rewarded; and that ministers be chosen for their love of public good. One scientist proposes to improve state business by kicking and pinching ministers so as to make them less forgetful. Another says that he would expose treasonous plots by examining excrement because people are most thoughtful on the toilet. Two measures for raising taxes are also advanced. The first would let one’s neighbors decide on one’s vices and follies and then set a tax on each offense. The second measure would allow each man to decide how seductive, witty, and valiant he was; and, each woman would decide how beautiful and fashionable she was. Then a tax would be imposed on seductiveness, wit, valor, beauty, and fashion. It is obvious to the Balnibarbians that all the professors are as mad as March hares.
