Again, in each of these events are hints of larger revelations to come, especially as his consciousness develops. His mother's influence on him is naturally strong. The way she forces him to become independent, even tough, is something he finally appreciates. Above all, Richard wants to be a man. In the streets, in the saloon, in his explorations of the city, he exerts his masculinity, always unconsciously aware of the imminent castration of black boys and men. Yet, at the same time, he is developing a fascination with words the secrets of the drunks that will increase throughout his boyhood.
The frustration of his curiosity is described with the same cool fatalism as the other humiliations he endures. It comes from every direction from his mother, as well as from white people and whatever he tries to understand as information or moral truth results in only deeper misunderstanding. The world he occupies can only be described as hostile. And Richard begins to return this hostility with hostility. Sometimes it takes the form of shyness. When asked to perform in school, or to accept the attention of Miss Simon at the orphanage, he turns cold and cannot respond. He has learned to be suspicious of other people, and there is a real danger that this suspicion will make him like the other members of his family that is, incapable of giving and responding to love. Only by being conscious of the terrible consequences of such suspicion can he free himself as a man.
When he witnesses his father bowing and scraping, being an Uncle Tom before a white judge in order to avoid feeding his family, he can see clearly what he himself might become. It is a repulsive image to him, as is the image of his father, laughing with his new woman, all sensuality and no love. Later, he can excuse his father for this; he will be able to see him as an environmental prisoner. Now, however, as a boy, Richard has no tolerance for such a man.
