But faced with this self-knowledge, Gene rejects it, defensively retreating into his habitual conformity, his comforting sense of himself as an obedient boy. What starts out as a confession and an apology to Finny — a mark of true growth into adulthood and responsibility — quickly becomes an angry rationalization, an attack on Finny that constitutes a second injury. In Brinker's informal Butt Room trial, and later, in the more formal Assembly Room investigation into Finny's accident, Gene persists in withholding the truth, refusing to admit his responsibility. Gene's resistance to the truth is a resistance to growth, a retreat into his passive, conforming past, where he felt safe and good. The revelation of Gene's guilt and his refusal to admit it cause Finny's second fall, the accident that ultimately ends his life.
Only in the friends' last conversation, in the infirmary, can Gene face Finny and freely discuss the fall on Finny's own terms, without rationalization or duplicity. Gene's apology and Finny's forgiveness make it possible for Gene to break out of his self-centered denial. By the end of the novel, Gene has accepted both his own guilt and the gift of Finny's friendship. The experience has helped him to grow into an insightful, responsible, and compassionate adult.
