At this point, Stephen's struggles with his sex drive seem all the more painful because he serves as prefect of the Sodality of the Blessed Virgin, and, therefore, he has an obligation to provide a good example for the younger boys at the school. Stephen's period of lust and frustration, however, is short-lived. After listening to Father Arnall's Judgment Day sermons, delivered during a three-day religious retreat, Stephen is so consumed with guilt and fear that he seeks out a kindly Capuchin monk to hear his confession. Afterward, he vows to purify his life.
Accordingly, he becomes a model saint of a young lad; but this phase is also short-lived. Stephen finally acknowledges his feelings of sexuality, and he also acknowledges his own moral imperfections, as well as the moral imperfections of people around him. He becomes cynical about those who profess to have a flawless faith and begins to use his intellect and logic in order to dissect spiritual matters.
The question of whether or not Stephen should pursue a life of spirituality is resolved once and for all after his meeting with the Jesuit director, who unwittingly reveals that a religious life would deny Stephen all pleasures of the natural world — a fate Stephen cannot imagine. His decision to turn from a religious vocation makes him realize that he is now free — free to pursue the pleasures of life through art.
