Other things also confuse Stephen: should he spy on his fellow classmates and report their sacrilegious behavior? He could do so easily and with good conscience, and he could certainly "peach" on the boy who pushed him in the "square ditch." These and other confusing issues cause Stephen to constantly be on the defensive and to yearn for the comfortable security of home. Ironically, when Stephen is able to return home for the Christmas holidays, he realizes that home is not the harmonious haven that it once seemed to be.
After the Christmas Day battle royal, Stephen views his family differently. He sees the tyranny of religious zeal (embodied in Dante, his governess), and he also sees the cost of anti-clerical, political activism (embodied in Mr. Casey, his father's friend). The argument between Dante and Mr. Casey proves to Stephen that the adult world is as flawed and as cruel as his own small world. He is further disillusioned when he learns that the clerical community contains its own form of hypocritical cruelty. He realizes that if he is to obtain justice at Clongowes (regarding the pandying incident), he must relinquish personal weakness, fly in the face of both custom and tradition, and be willing to stand alone and confront the dark, unknown forces of the world.
Stephen's later experiences at Belvedere College initiate him into the turbulent world of adolescence. At Belvedere, Stephen feels confused and ashamed of his family's poverty, yet he overcompensates for his feelings of inadequacy by excelling in both drama and writing. Furthermore, he finds an artistic outlet for his adolescent moodiness in his love for Romantic literature.
In spite of his attempts to adjust to the school and to the Church, Stephen exhibits the restlessness and unpredictable mood swings of the typical adolescent, compounded by feelings of inferiority and, most of all, by persistent feelings of sexual urgency. Eventually, these longings for sex are satisfied in the arms of a Dublin prostitute. This experience marks the end of Stephen's innocence and the beginning of his search for life's deeper meanings.
